Pro-Recovery Guidelines
#1 Rule of thumb: If you would find what you are about to say or post triggering, do NOT say it to another MC member or post it anywhere another member could read it!
Below you will find two groups of examples - Pro-Recovery and Pro-Ed. Which one will you choose?
Pro-Recovery Communication (aka "What Would Recovery Do?"):
-Is solutions-focused and shares with a plan already in mind – “here is what I am struggling with and what can I do about it”
-Always asks “would I be triggered by this?” before sharing or posting
-Always thinks of whether the share or post is appropriate the audience and recognizes that if you share to another member that you want to quit or die, can they help you? How will they feel? Who do you REALLY need to be sharing the information with?
-Focuses on community help and wellbeing as in “we are all in this together – how can we all get better together”
-Balances the need to share against the potential the share has to cause another member to falter or relapse – i.e. sharing that you didn’t follow your meal plan without presenting a plan to get back on it for the next meal may cause another member to struggle to follow their meal plan
-Always keeps the #1 priority of joining MentorCONNECT – achieving recovery – first and foremost in mind when interacting with other members and participating in group activities
-Refrains from self-promotion to other members (i.e. promoting personal business, website, blog, social community, book, etc) at the expense of recovery-oriented conversations
-Includes ONLY ENOUGH personal information to communicate what the struggle is so that helpful ideas and feedback can be solicited from others
-Refrains from ANY discussion of past or current weight, weight goals, other people’s weights, calories, sizes, BMI, medical chart information
-Refrains from ANY discussion of past or present pro-eating disorders actions, ideas, tips, tricks, or activities
-Attempts to name and own feelings rather than taking the lazy way out by saying “I feel fat”
-Maintains confidentiality and privacy at all time by directing attention to helpful and supportive resources WITHIN the MC community and Forums
-Refrains from posting links or invitations to outside and unmonitored locations such as facebook, twitter, myspace, personal blogs and websites, etc, to do your part to ensure that all MC members will be protected from exposure to triggering content
-Offers suggestions for helpful books, music, and treatment resources that clearly support and promote an active involvement in recovery from eating disorders
-Recognizes the limitations of a mentoring-based community and refrains from asking detailed medical questions that only a medical professional could know the answer to
-Contacts the MC Leadership Team quickly and directly via the secure Contact Form on the Forums home page to ask questions, report concerns, suggest ideas, and report suspicious or triggering activity by another member
Pro-Eating Disorder Communication (aka "What Would Ed Do?"):
-Is problem-focused and shares with no plan in mind and/or no intention to form a plan – “here is what I am struggling with and I’ll never/don’t want to get better or seek help”
-Disregards the potential to trigger another member while sharing or posting
-Discusses wanting to quit or die in flagrant disregard for the audience and refuses to recognize that other members cannot help and will only be triggered by such shares or posts
-Focuses on “me, me, me” – “poor me” – and ignores the wellbeing, needs, and struggles of others in the community
-Ignores the potential to cause other members to falter or relapse when sharing -i.e., sharing that you didn’t follow the meal plan and have no intention of following the meal plan because it makes you “feel fat” may cause another member to falter or struggle to follow their meal plan even if they have been doing well
-Disregards the #1 priority of joining MentorCONNECT – achieving recovery – when interacting with other members and participating in group activities
-Solicits self-promotion from other members (i.e. promoting personal business, website, blog, social community, book, etc) at the expense of recovery-oriented communications
-Includes vast amounts of personal details at the expense of soliciting helpful ideas and feedback from others
-Includes frequent discussion of past or current weight, weight goals, other people’s weights, calories, sizes, BMI, medical chart information
-Actively re-hashes past and current pro-eating disorders thoughts and behaviors, including ideas, tips, tricks, and activities
-Does not attempt to name and own feelings, instead simply posts “I feel fat” (Fat is NOT a feeling!)
-Breaks confidentiality and privacy by encouraging a focus on unhealthy and triggering resources found OUTSIDE the MC community and Forums
-Actively invites other members off of the Forums to outside sites like facebook, twitter, myspace, personal blogs and websites, etc, uncaring that on those sites, MentorCONNECT cannot protect other members from exposure to triggering material
-Offers “thinspiration” suggestions that clearly promote pro-eating disordered thoughts and behaviors
-Asks for feedback on specific medical questions that other members clearly are neither qualified to nor able to answer
-Starts gossip and drama with and about other members, actively working to undermine group cohesiveness and accountability rather than contacting the MC Leadership Team for assistance with answering questions and resolving concerns